Wednesday, March 18, 2009
After accepting it, I got to thinking. I sent an email yesterday, not via FB, asking if she intended to do that and to please let me know since the Grandma I friended didn't have a photo or any other details beyond the most basics.
When I hadn't heard anything by this morning, I sent another email saying that there was another Grandma out there with a photo and wall posts and evidence of activity that led me to know this other person was really her. I de-friended (un-friended?) the photo-less Grandma. If it turns out the photo-less Grandma is her also, we can look at re-friending.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
According to my trusty google search, a pretrial hearing is "a meeting with the judge that happens before trial, if the parties have not come to an agreement by that point. Usually, the judge tries to get a sense of how the trial will come out and nudge the parties to compromise along those lines." Another site says, "Your lawyer and the DA are trying to see if this case should go to trial or plea bargain out."
While I hope my lawyer/friend/spy finds a job of his own as quickly as possible, I sure hope he's free that day. It would be interesting to be there, just staring her down and giving her the evil eye.
AJ turns 4 on April 6th, three days after BabyGirl turns 8, and three days before his own mother faces the judge for beating the living daylights out of him. BabyGirl's birthday will always be intertwined with AJ's, since we just scored a perfect parking space at Zingerman's for a post-preschool celebratory 4th birthday lunch with Grandma and Grandpa when Peggy called to say she was at the hospital in labor.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Oh Grandma, I'm so sorry for such a big misunderstanding. No, we are not trying to "swoop and snatch" and I did contact CPS, but certainly not to "inquire" about the case. I have respected your wish for privacy. I hope I also made it clear to you, though, that we were going to do what we had to do to let CPS know that we were interested in adopting him/them IF Peggy's rights were terminated and IF you opted not to parent. I think I've explained our fear that he/they could be thrown into the System and we'd never have the opportunity to bring him/them home, if that was what was needed.
I called the general CPS number and was passed to FosterCareWorker; whether or not she is working with you, I don't know nor did she indicate either way. I gave a general explanation of the situation--asking no questions about the case, only what
we should do if an out-of-family placement became necessary. I did not use
your names and, as far as I knew, she didn't know of the case. She said that to present anyone's name to the court, they need to be licensed foster parents because IF parental rights are terminated and IF "the grandma" chooses not parent, he/they will be placed immediately with other foster parents from the pool and it would be very, very difficult--if not impossible--to move him/them here at a later point. I don't know why she would have said that I was inquiring about the situation because that is absolutely not the case.
I am doing my best to respect your privacy as much as possible. I'm not going to the public hearings. I'm not questioning friends who work in the court system. I'm not emailing you everyday. I do understand that this is difficult for your family, but please understand that this is difficult for my family, too. We have never stopped loving AJ, we have never stopped considering him the missing part of our family--as BabyGirl said, "since he left, there's been a hole in our hearts." When you told me that Peggy had been beating him to the point of potential brain damage, neural hematomas, and multiple broken bones, it was nearly as painful as when the judge initially found Peggy to not be an "imminent threat" and ordered him returned. No, my family may not be facing potential jail time, but we have our own kind of hell over all this, too.
I am on your side on this, whether or not it feels like it right now. I absolutely defer to you when it comes to this situation, something I've tried to make clear to our CPS contact. But I was also not going to miss the opportunity to potentially bring our little boy home simply because I didn't make a phone call to ask for some general information. Again, I am sorry for the misunderstanding.
.I haven't heard anything back from her yet.
.And then there's the matter of Peggy's most recent court date, the pretrial hearing in criminal court on February 24. Much to my surprise, Peggy opted not to admit and plead guilty to the charges, she's opted to have a jury trial. Apparently, she thinks she can beat the charges (awful pun intended). I have not heard if that trial has a start-date yet; nonetheless, she has a return to juvenile court to divulge AJ's real father's name or provide a list of potential fathers on March 27.